The Return of the anti-FFF

Like a great squid rising up from the depths of the internet ocean, breaking the surface to menacingly roll its tentacles around while actually accomplishing very little real harm to anybody (all that lore about giant octupi dragging ships down is mere twaddle.), the anti-FFF has returned. Yes, its URL is www.anti-fundamentalforums.com, but it calls itself the "TRUE" Fundamental Forums, so you can see that in terms of being both imbecilic, incorrect, and confusing (as well as totally subjective and self-aggrandizing), it does resemble Fundamentalism.

I can't tell you what goes on there because they are so paranoid that they don't let anybody see their discussions, and they bounce anybody who presents any type of challenge to them. And while certain people have brazened their way in under alternate screen names, I have either too much dignity or not enough interest (or both) to try that scheme. What I have found is that the type of people who frequent the anti-FFF care a whole lot more about what other people are saying and doing than what other people care about the anti-FFF.

So what has developed is that the A-FFF has become a kind of retreat for its members. The lords of misrule will sally forth from the A-FFF and appear on the mainline Fundamental Forums to shake their fists at everybody, spread a few false rumors around, make outright accusations, or even threats, and then get sucked back to the A-FFF in the way that the tide sucks back that rolling line of scum you sometimes see on the beach.

Marty Braemer has guaranteed that he really does have a "plant" who will be attending the Conference of the Lambs and spying for him there (a strange comment that evoked one pastoral friend of mine, who I have never heard call anybody an idiot, exclaim, "what kind of idiot is this Marty Braemer?") And Guy Beaumont (The Real Baptist) has alleged that Christian Farris (who certainly has got his problems, as he repeatedly demonstrates by his wrathful comments at large and his need to compare himself with everybody else, always in his own favor) has been committing adultery. I must admit, I do not admire Chris Farris, but Beaumont's allegation lacked evidence and even lacked the names of Beaumont's alleged sources. And Mark Tevault (Remonstrant) has suggested that hosting the Conference of the Lambs (which will accommodate fewer than two dozen guests, I am told) has ended the ministry of Dan Burrell, one of the most respected men in what's left of the decent part of Fundamentalism.

I think we can see that the A-FFF, apart from giving some sort of false courage to cowardly men, is a sort of catch-pipe of the religious internet. If everybody else who runs a Christian forum flushes you down their drain, you end up at the A-FFF. And every now and then you can climb up the pipe, utter a few vile things, make nervous people scream, and then get hosed back down to the catch-pipe.

Anyway, I suppose it had to happen. The oft-repeated debates on the FFF were only going one way, away from the superstitions of many Fundamentalists. Sovereign Grace, if not designed precisely as the outright Calvinists say, is still apparent in the Scripture and cannot be effectively denied, not unless you overlook key passages. And there is no evidence at all to favor a divinely inspired translation of the inspired original autographs, and certainly none at all to suggest that the KJV, a translation commissioned by a gay king who fancied himself the Protestant Pope of England, would be such a translation if there were such a thing possible.

And the holy living "challenges" were meeting with more scorn than awe, as wrathful demands that people quit listening to Gospel music, or rock, or wearing slacks, or doing this or that, were countered with the Bible's description of holy living: kindness, mercy, forgiveness, justice, and fear of God.

There had to be a retreat, I suppose. And so there was. But it was a strategic mistake for our boys. For now, the main FFF is under the rule of far more educated and able people. The credibility of the A-FFF'ers, never all that strong, has waned considerably. They always were caricatures, in my opinion. But that has become much more obvious, as it is now clear that they intend to swoop out of the A-FFF like Vultures of Revenge, crash the party at the FFF, spread around rumors and threats, shake the general fist at everybody, and then retreat.

Like so much of what occurs in Christian Fundamentalism, it is part comic opera and part tragedy.